SHES LIKE HEROIN [entries|friends|calendar] aRe • INFO • SITE • You gotta take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, LOVE what you got, remember what you had, always forgive, never forget, learn from mistakes, never regret, people change, things go wrong, but just remember... life goes on [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[1.19.06 @ 10:51 pm] YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i changed my LJ name, please add em back <3 livejournal.com/~itsarhap i say HOLLA

last straw, pretty much. [1.18.06 @ 6:57 pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | kelly rowland - stole ] Sooo, know anyone whos hiring? cause i'm looking. i think today was my breaking point. iv'e never done anything to make ___ think otherwise, so, what ever i guess. it's pretty hard holding in a whole chest full of crying for 5 hours... maybe thats why i have a headache.. who cares though, right? i say HOLLA

like whoa. [1.16.06 @ 8:16 pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | Nelly & Justin Timberlake - Girlfriend ] this time im going to really try to have a REAL update. Work is getting to the point like.. "where am i?...am i settling, or just getting lazy?" Which ever it is, I think that i should just step it up a little. i'm making my name (spalding) look bad in this company, seeing as how all of my parents children are manager for Papa Johns.. oh well though, just another level of me being compared to my brothers. at this time in my life, im used to it, and theres no reason to complain, i learned quickly it does NOTHING to benefit me, so why do it? on the other hand, him and i are great. i love him. he litteraly is everything that iv'e wanted +more. i duely am thankful for him. especially for putting up with me. (maybe i should start taking something for my bipolar again) i love him and he really is my angel. though ive side-tracked a little the last few months, ive always come back to him. i care for others, but LOVE him. theres a HUGE difference. ALSO, it not is just over a year and half for us. it IS my longest REAL relationship. i'm thankful for him, mainly because i know id be in the same position i was in when i met him, depressed, suicidal, lonely, low self confidence, and most of all, angry. he really did help me with EVERYTHING... just be.. being there. <3<3<3<3<3<3 it's been nice seeing my family the past few days.. since ive been bunkering out at tony's for so long.. i think its the same with them as it was my brother, once he moved out we got along GREAT. and thats how it is with my family now.. i dont really resent my dad as much, and my mom is finally realizing im not always going to be at home.. she misses me. and so does my dad.. its a GREAT feeling to finally feel. i guess thats really all i have for now.. other than........................ peace out bitchezzzzzz i say HOLLA

Omni,. [1.7.06 @ 3:26 pm] [ music | Rush - Free Will ] Tony and I are going to join the Omni on Monday. We checked it out yesterday and we checked outt he YMCA. What both of us dont understand is, why exactly th Y costs more than the Omni does. It's weird. The Omni looks WAY more expensive. This needs to stop. This is why i'm joining the Omni. The end. 2 x i say HOLLA

Just watch. [1.1.06 @ 10:45 pm] A. I WILL be getting just a little bit more sexy every month. I promise you that. B. It started yesterday. C. NEW YEARS PARTY WAS AWESOME. Slam your Jack. i say HOLLA

[12.24.05 @ 10:47 pm] I am the straight guy who is constaintly criticised because I care about my gay friends. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being takenaway from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wishthey could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. (yes, this actually happened: read more) I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didnt have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends im a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them. I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson" Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong i say HOLLA

Christmas List [12.22.05 @ 8:38 pm] [ music | system of a down - hypnotize ] I haven't gone christmas shopping yet. which is BAD. VERY bad. work is work. i do have to say, getting up early in the morning is getting to be a pain in my fucking asshole. but hey, atleast i don't get to see tony most of the time untill the time i have to get to bed cause he closes so often when i open. having a day off together is CRAZY. if we do get it, it's crazy. don't get me wrong, i LOVE my job.. i love the people i work with, i love the angry customers... but i hate having to deal with shit that i shouldnt have to. which sucks. i say HOLLA

confessions of a broken heart [12.14.05 @ 8:49 pm] bravo lindsay lohan. freaking bravo for making a touching song. it does touch me. So, work is work. iv'e been working about 38 hours everyweek. which is nice.. hopefully i'll be getting my raise.. then another raise for finishing my books. 1 x i say HOLLA

YEAH [12.11.05 @ 2:07 am] Yeah, Andy's pretty much my best buddy. <3u i say HOLLA

[12.10.05 @ 3:03 pm] [ music | Nat King Cole - Chestnuts roasting over an open fire ] my love still grows for you. and 17 months ago today, you asked me.... Tony: "So.. will you?" Me: "(laugh) so will i what?" Tony: "be my girlfriend?" Me: "of course" Happy Anniversary my bebe. 4 x i say HOLLA

it's not being concieted. [12.4.05 @ 7:22 pm] I know you think about me, i know you miss me. don't doubt it. cause i feel the same. i say HOLLA

Me. [12.2.05 @ 10:24 pm] 1 x i say HOLLA

BAR NIGHT [11.30.05 @ 11:49 pm] OH, do I love my bebe. Hubba, bad... bad. Good ol' Binkie Hubba... *shakes her head* I LITTERALLY made him smile.. jk'in.. he wanted to. Duhhhr. Awww <3 *loves* The drunk, the Goof, the Thug. By the way, this was at "Time Out" Ugh, look at his eyes. ilu Bink at Hubba's house 2 x i say HOLLA

[11.26.05 @ 4:56 pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Making the Bad 3 ] Three Names You Go By 1. Ruthy 2. bebe 3. bebo Three Parts of Your Heritage 1. Irish 2. Polish 3. English Three Things That Scare You 1. Being alone in the dark 2. Being alone the rest of my life 3. Being pasted on Three of Your Everyday Essentials 1. Work (as sad as it is) 2. Showering 3. Gum Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now 1. Haynes white T-Shirt 2. Tony's slippers 3. Old Navy gym shorts Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists: 1. Whit Houston 2. System of a Down 3. Guns n Roses Three of Your Favorite Songs 1. I Believe in you and me - Whit Houston 2. BYOB - SoaD 3. Circles - Stone Sour Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love) 1. Honestly 2. Mental attraction 3. True chemistry Two Truths and a Lie 1. I LOVE thunderstorms 2. I cant stand peas 3. I LOVE squash Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You 1. Dark brown eyes. 2. Black (natural) 3. Bad boy image, sweet guy next door inside Three of Your Favorite Hobbies 1. Photography 2. Watching movies. 3. Friends :) Three Things You want to do really badly right now 1. PSP 2. Get a HUGE bonus, buy a new car 3. Get my engagment ring :( Three Places You Want to go on Vacation 1. London 2. Ireland 3. Poland Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die 1. Meet family in Ireland 2. Meet family in Poland 3. Have a family. Three Ways that you are stereotypically a boy/girl 1. I "get what i want" 2. I enojy girly things (everyonce in a while) 3. I HATE slimey things.... post comment i say HOLLA

Day after yesterday [11.25.05 @ 1:25 pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | XBOX 360 commercial ] It's SO true. So unbelievably true. Anyway.... I want to go to Miejer to get a memory card so I can have more space on my camera...cauuuuuse, i can only have like, 12 pictures on there.. and with a memory card, I can have like either 160 - 1000 pictures... soooo.. i'll probably post a few picutres from Thanksgiving some time soon, if not, oh well.. Tony's sleeping on the bed... and I wish he were awake.. He said the ultimate sweetest thing to me.. he goes, "you bright up my life bebe..." and i go, "that's just because theres light shinning through your window in your eyes.." (which there was) and he was like, "no, you really do make everything look brighter and more happy.. i love you.." and then i kissed him :) he seriously completes me.. more than I even know I bet.. I work tonight and I really, really don't want to.. It's going to take $200+ to fix my car.. I need new brakes, roders, and calipers(sp?).. PLUS labor in a shop.. and I really don't have that kind of money to be playin around with.. specially since my car isnt really even all that nice.. Oh well though, gotta do what you gotta do I guess... I guess i'm going to go lay down with Tony.. I'd rathar lay down next to him then sit on this computer and lose brain-cells :) *Loves*... as Rach-skal would say.. 4 x i say HOLLA

Thanksgiving [11.25.05 @ 12:11 am] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Stoker and Hooch on Cartoon Netweork ] Happy Birthday and Happy Thanksgiving, my bebe. Though we've been through some pretty hardcore stuff these past months, it only makes us stronger and closer together.. knowing that each of use has made our own mistakes, we're still together and we still love eachother more than we did 6 months ago.. I love you, and you love me.. personally, thats all that matter at this point in my life.. you complete me and for us to be together, and for me to be with you and witness you 22nd birthday.. was great.. i love you and i can't wait to spend the next 22 years together.. In other boring news, I almost died on the way from Grand Rapids today.. the roads were HORRIBLE. Simply HORRIBLE. This guy infront of me kept slowing down and speeding, then quickly slowing down.. and... for anyone who doesnt know, knows that my car is pretty much a peice of shit when i comes to my breaks.. so, i was about 3 inches away from hitting the person infront of me about 4 times.. I litterlly was praying and thanking GOD for keeping me alive thorugh that distance and in that type of weather.. I now question why I havent devoted myself more to God.. Knowing he can keep me alive through something like that REALLY touches me.. Not to be all preachy but I think EVERYONE should start thinking more about their religious side.. and whether or not you believe, and if so.. devote yourself.. but who am I to speak.. huh? Knowing me i'll probably be swearing and cursing God next week.. In conclustion.. I want to wish EVERYONE, even the people I dont like.. a VERY Happy Thanksgiving, and a VERY Happy Holidays.. Peace Out 1 x i say HOLLA

sick [11.11.05 @ 9:55 pm] im sick. i might be getting a tattoo in memory. who knows. jordans nice, but work sucks. 1 x i say HOLLA

I lost it. [11.5.05 @ 8:15 pm] i dont want any questions, cause it's none of your business, just know I lost it. i say HOLLA

Grand rapids will always be home, and muskegon will always be muskegon.... [11.4.05 @ 9:36 pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | Alicia Keys - Killing me Softly ] It's true.. SO very true. And with every comment, theres one that follows.. here it is.. I'm probably going to be moving in about a month or two to Grand Rapids.. I'll be living in York Creek off of Alpine behind the Best Buy.. Don't get me wrong.. Muskegon, (even though i hate lol) isn't really that bad.. IF you have great awesome spectacular friends to keep you company and be there.. if you don't, then you're pretty much screwed. I grew up and was pretty much raised in Grand Rapids.. it's great.. Sad thing is, Tony won't be comming with me. Which is okay I guess.. Seeing as how we've been through hell these past 2 months, i'm pretty sure we can make it through this... I mean, we've both made our own mistakes, and we've both learned that we love eachother... And we were stupid to think otherwise.. BUT, it is only about 35 minutes away... and.. the sad thing is.. it IS 35 minutes away.. i guess thats just one of those PRO'S and CON'S about it all.. In other news, Mandy's comming back in a week, which means Jordan will be leaving in about a week too.. I like Jordan, but I defiantly miss Mandy :) I close Monday night, come in and visit me kids :) 1 x i say HOLLA

... [10.30.05 @ 7:42 pm] HOW FUCKIN SHADY IS THAT SHIT? THAT WAS PRETTY FUCKED UP. HOPE YOU HAD FUN, CAUSE I DID... 1 x i say HOLLA

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